How I Found Out

Maybe the worst thing a grown child can do

Is make you think they don’t care anything about you

And in the grand scheme when they don’t text or call

Have you discover you don’t matter at all

Maybe it’s worse when they don’t ever say

How grateful they are you decided to stay

And you didn’t give up when they knew that 

you should

But you stayed only for them and just for their good

Or maybe it’s worse when they don’t ever say

How much they love you, and you’re not in the way

You’re not an inconvenience they have to deal with

You’re someone they love and they’re happy to give

.

And at night when you sit staring at the wall

Maybe it’s worse that they never call

Or in the day waiting for that knock on the door

Worse to know they’re really not coming anymore

Or worse to have them actually say it out loud

My friends get my time and there’s none left for you

I’d come to see you but it’s always so loud

I don’t like affection as much as you do.

And maybe it’s worse because you know it’s a lie.

That it’s just an excuse to keep from saying goodbye.

They’ve grown out of you—they have wings to fly

And they’ll only remember the love when you die.

But I learned it’s worse for you to look in their eyes

Finally see past all your fear and all your own lies

Realize what you’ve done to the one you came from

So you throw down your pride and take off in a run

If your mama or your dad are still in this world

You’ve just learned a lesson that came with a punch

Throw your arms around them like a little girl

Let them know how you want them and you love them so much.

Because in your own sorrow and in so much hurt

You’ve just realized the truth of what’s worse.

Allison Divine